Small Family, Big God

With four children, I consider my family small.  But, since we would welcome more children, if God wills, we have, incidentally, adopted a large family mentality without realizing it. My large-family friends probably think me a little silly when I jump into conversations about large family logistics, but they are sweet about it...  :)

I think there are many families who look like small families, but in their hearts they are much larger because they are open to more possibilities by not standing in God's way.  It is possible to be a "quiver-full" family with only one or two children, or even NONE!!  As long we are not hindering the nature of God's design.  It is a matter of the heart.

On behalf of these families I wish to thank Raising Arrows for her post titled, Adopting a Large Family Mentality When You Are a Small Family, for expressing family dynamics of a small family large-style.  Now, leave my blog and read hers for a while.

Learning to Be Content

Wow!  It's official:  All of the Smith household members are fully potty trained.  It's a little sad too.

Our baby, our 2nd since the reversal, is now 2.5 years old.  With 3 older siblings to look up to, she is maturing so fast.  I really believed and hoped I would have another to nurse and diaper by now.

I remember being asked soon after our reversal, "Do you REALLY think God will control your womb?"  I firmly replied, "Yes!"   However, I'll admit I did expect that, without birth control, WE would naturally produce babies one after another until menopause-- SO HAUGHTY!!  Sure, we no longer block Him from creating life, but let us be clear and proclaim it is He who chooses to give, withhold and even, take away at His good will.  Indeed, God is in control of the womb!!

"...in the presence of the God... who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist."   Romans 4:17

"...he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." ~Acts 17:25

"And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.'” ~Job 1:21

We have always loved children, but didn't expect our desire for more would abound as we gave control to Him.  As strong as our desire may be, it is more important is to desire God's perfect will.  We are  determined that He will be free to create as many Smith children as He chooses.  Every disappointing month is a small prices to pay for the hope and possibility of another blessing, but in the end we must rest and be content in God's perfect plan, even if the number holds at 4.  After all, this is not a numbers game.  We are in the business of raising up godly generations for the Lord.

With the aid of the Lord, we will start by encouraging our next generations:

 To submit our entire body, mind and soul to God's will

and

 "...in whatever situation I am to be content."  ~Philippians 4:11

Rejoicing For Life

What a blessed child to be so joyfully received! If only every child were welcomed with such elation.

Baby Collages

As we were seated in the Doctor's office for the initial consult, collages of baby pictures decorated the walls. These little blessings were given a chance to live because their fathers had a change of heart and had their vasectomies reversed in the procedure room down the hall. A smile brightens Dr. Stanton's face as we admire the chubby cheeks of 100s of babies welcomed into repentant Christian homes by the grace of God. Dr. Stanton performs these reversals as a ministry. The only fee collected is for the facilities. He is the father of 8 boys himself.

During the years we were avoiding conception via vasectomy (I call these the winter years), I have often wondered if we allowed God to give us more children, who would they be, what would they look like and what would we name them. Many who practice birth control will admit they do this. There is always this little place in your mind where you dream of what might be.

I was missing blessings who would never exist because of my choices. Once upon a time I rejected the children of whom I dreamed--NO MORE!!

Seeing those collages confirmed what we were doing was right. We were correcting our wrong by re-setting our bodies to receive life God had designed us to produce.

Our two *post-vasectomy* blessings now pictured in Dr. Stanton's collage of welcomed children!!

Remembering "V" Day

This post is inspired from Dr. Voddie Baucham's book "Family Driven Faith" which is not about birth control, but he did devote a few paragraph's to his personal vasectomy experience. He write

"When Trey was born, we hired a doctor to speak to God on our behalf. He took his scalpel and sutures and told God, 'The Bauchums hereby declare that they no longer trust, nor welcome you in this area of their lives.'"

For us, I remember the day clearly... a $20.00 copay was all it took to sterilize my 24 year old husband--less than what it would cost to spay or neuter a dog!!

The message in our hearts was something like this...

"Here we are, God. We know we are "fearfully and wonderfully made", but we don't like it anymore. We have hired this Dr. to cut, shorten, tie and cauterize because we want to be sure you don't pull any tricks. It is time to have fun without the responsibility--it is all about US now. We know you would take care of our family if you gave us more children, but we don't want to give up our name brand clothes and fast food meals. Yes, we are grateful for the two you have given us, but not enough to want more. No thanks!!"

It took a few years, but we eventually came back to our senses. Thankfully, it was not too late as it was for the Bauchum family. Vince was relatively young when we had his vasectomy reversed. We have since welcomed 2 more children into our family and desire more as the Lord blesses.

We found Dr. Stanton, a surgeon in Arkansas, the father of 8 boys, who performs reversal surgeries as a ministry on his Saturdays. Before the procedure he showed us several large displays in his offices filled with pictures of children who are alive because of his ministry.  So many live because of this good man.

We are no longer in the "V" club. Now were are in the R-Squared club--
Repented and Reversed!!

A

Can't? or Unwilling?

Originally posted Thursday, February 3, 2011

The average Joe says, "I wouldn't want so many children because of the financial burden. I simply can't afford it."

In the words of Martin Luther:

"Although it is very easy to marry a wife, it is very difficult to support her along with the children and the household. Accordingly, no one notices this faith of Jacob. Indeed, many hate fertility in a wife for the sole reason that the offspring must be supported and brought up. For this is what they commonly say: ‘Why should I marry a wife when I am a pauper and a beggar? I would rather bear the burden of poverty alone and not load myself with misery and want.’ But this blame is unjustly fastened on marriage and fruitfulness. Indeed, you are indicting your unbelief by distrusting God’s goodness, and you are bringing greater misery upon yourself by disparaging God’s blessing. For if you had trust in God’s grace and promises, you would undoubtedly be supported. But because you do not hope in the Lord, you will never prosper."

— Martin Luther (Sermons of Martin Luther, The)

With a fresh-off-the-lot, over-sized, gas guzzling SUV/truck parked in the garage, most people who think they can't afford more children are not "paupers" and "beggars". They are simply unwilling.

How Many Arrows?

Originally posted 2/11/2011

How Many Arrows?

"As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, So are the children of youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be put to shame, When they speak with their enemies in the gate." ~Psalms 127:4-5 ASV

Today I asked my children this question and here are their answers:

"If you were going into battle, how many arrows would you want in your quiver?"
Aaron (3) - "At least 7."
Catherine (11) - "20??"
Alexey (14) - "As many as I could get."

Out of the mouths of babes!!

Only God should decide the amount of "arrows" we should have in our quivers, but it is clearly Biblical to desire many of them.

The Joy of Our Boy

Originally posted 12/29/2010

The Joy of The Boy

I want to share a testimony of how God has used our little boy to do great things in our family. As always, I cast no judgment on the practices of others, but I do not wish to be silent about how God is working in our lives.

Today is our little boy's 3rd birthday. Aaron is our 3rd of 4 children and he is the only boy.

He is such a joy to have in our home. His energy, activity, humor, emotions, silly antics and manly nature keep the ladies in our family entertained. How we love our little boy, yet...

his Dad and I cannot celebrate his life without an underlying feeling of remorse and sorrow.

This boy is a mercy child. He is our first child born after a vasectomy reversal. We almost rejected him as we had for many years been rejecting the potential for other children in our family. When we gaze upon this boyish blessing we come face to face with the fact that we almost prevented his life and we even had to be convinced by the Holy Spirit through His Word to accept him. If left to our own plans to do what merely seemed right in our own eyes, we would have closed the door on him not accepting him into our family. This is a humbling reality.

This is the reality that leaves a bittersweet mixture of joy and regret in our hearts.

How merciful God has been to us to open our blind eyes to His Truth, His Design, His Will, His Enlightenment, His Provision?!?!



Not only do we celebrate Aaron's life today, but also, how God has used him to lift us out of the worldly rut of rejecting life and into a challenging, yet deeply rewarding place where all of His blessings will be received into our home from now on despite the cost. We will continue to give God ALL the credit for every child He delivers to us because He alone is the giver of life, not us. We destroy, prevent and waist life, but God is so merciful to send His Son to give us a new heart and to show us His Ways that lift us out of our evil destruction.



Aaron is more than just a birthday boy. He is a testament to how God is working in our household!!

The Womb Produces Weapons

"Womb Is A Powerful Weapon"

I love this quote. It could easily become a one-liner for Scriptures like Psalms 127 which say, "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

Or Genesis 3:15, "And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel."

As the Southern Baptist Convention and many other religious organizations have promoted throughout history, the womb is an evangelical tool. It is a very effective medium for spreading the good news of Christ.

Here is a great article by an unlikely source explaining the quiverful movement, and how the womb could be used as a weapon:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102005062

Christians Woman Should Not Take the Pill

A Clean Crib or the Strength of Oxen

I have to admit that I was approaching my quiet time with haste this morning. I thought to myself that I would search Proverbs for a quick verse to meditate on throughout the day. Well, God is merciful. Despite my hastiness, He blessed tremendously.

This is the verse I landed on:
Proverb 14:4 Where no oxen [are], the crib [is] clean: but much increase [is] by the strength of the ox.

This verse contains valuable advice to those in business and agriculture. It basically means that the cost of your tools is worth the production gained.

But how about listening to God speak through this verse to moms who are full-time, those who homeschool, even to the who have allowed the Lord to bless them with more children.

Can I tell you that right as I type these words I am surrounded with clutter. There are two hampers with clothes in them, toys scattered about and randomly situated on my coffee table is a handful of cheerios, a rock and stick, and a camouflage hat. Dare I say my crib is not clean?!?



I can sit here and reminisce on the days before we decided to have our vesectomy reversal when I had just the two daughters who are clean and organized and were old enough to take care of themselves. Yes, before our newest little blessing was born our house was usually spic and span. Those days are over, especially as I now have fourth one on the way.

But could the benefits out way the the costs or in this case mess?

The toys in the floor are a sign of new life, a curious and energetic little guy who has much more energy then I. Could God use his new young energy to help a lost one find The Way or to simply glorify and bring joy to our Maker? Maybe he will be a blessing to a young lady as he seeks to lead her spiritually and provide for her. If so, what do a few toys in the floor mean to me?!? The clutter is a clear sign that production is underway, and this is my way that I can serve the Lord by doing my part. Cheerios on the coffee table mean that life is thriving in my home.

This was his project while I was typing this post.
Ripping a paper napkin and putting it in a bowl he got
out of our pantry.

Yes, I am raising up a new generation to worship and praise the Lord for his Goodness and to share this joy with others! (I am getting the vision more clearly now.) When I think on these things the mess... well, it just seems minor.

I have been encouraged by this and I do pray that you will be too. Now, I think I will clean this place up. We will see how long it stays clean. ;)

Dry Wombs

I know an widowed Christian lady who was married, but chose not to have any children. She is now dying and my heart aches for her loneliness. She is being taken care of by home-health care-- these are strangers who do not know anything about her. She has no one who rises to call her blessed like the mother of Proverbs 31. She has told me that, as far as she knew, she could have children, but she chose a career as she is very intelligent. (I am not speaking of ladies who cannot have children here.) Yet, now she does not seem to be as smart as she was once given credit as she is dying alone at the mercy of strangers with no one to love her.

Churches today rarely mention Scriptures that exhort us to view our children as blessings, and that we should receive them as such. In the house of God, a women who has allowed God to be sovereign over her womb is not immune to the jeers of jokers and scoffers, who pity her for her "burdens":

"Don't you know what causes that?"
"Do you live in a shoe?"
"Are they ALL yours?"

Unfortunately, those who criticize are unaware of how very blessed a women who is actively receiving the blessings of the Lord under His sovereign control while their wombs are dry and bare. The Bible considers bare wombs a curse.

I know this post may be hard to swallow, and if it is may I suggest that it is because we are only able to see children for the responsibility and burdens that they bring, but are blind to the immense blessings that they are and will be to the Kingdom if we raise them up to serve the Lord and share Christ.

Let us meditate on these Scriptures and receive what God is speaking to us that we too often reject.

Gen 49:25 [Even] by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb:

Psa 127:3 Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward.